By Silas Gisiora Nyanchwani
Fundamentals | Foundations
My consideration was drawn to Vincent Achuka’s story in yesterday’s Sunday Nation. It’s a story of a younger man who was buried final week.
At 29, he was a giant dreamer, out right here with 4 different mates in search of a Sh 350 million mortgage from banks to develop villas on his grandmother’s 4 acre farm in Tigoni. He was as soon as listed within the Forbes’ checklist of rich Africans beneath 30. After twists and turns, the mission almost did not take off after they bumped into headwinds as any large scale mission is more likely to run to. However they did succeed. And presently his dream villas stand, however no sooner it was accomplished than issues took a darker flip and the story within the Nation would not inform us the place issues went improper within the final two years. However we all know he hit rock-bottom, drunk himself an excessive amount of earlier than turning to the church the final day of his life for the final prayer adopted by a suicide.
It’s a cautionary story. We are able to solely speculate the place all of it went improper.
However his just isn’t the quick, neither will or not it’s the final story of a person who makes it large when younger, solely to finish up broke and desolate in lower than a decade. Nairobi is filled with these tales. Although some might not commit suicide, their Simeon Makonde sort of story is one thing males can be taught from.
For any man right here, do you perceive the basics of life? Most do. And good quantity would not. Secondly, what are your foundations? Are they constructed on sand. Are they constructed on the rock? Keep in mind that Jesus parable in Matthew?
I see many males misplaced trying to find cash, which in itself just isn’t a foul factor. However do you ever pause lengthy sufficient to ask your self: why I do need cash so unhealthy? Would you like cash to run away from childhood poverty? Would you like cash for vainness? Would you like cash so as to get the ladies you by no means had whenever you have been broke? Would you like cash for useless pursuits?
See, guys, cash like hearth, is an efficient servant however a horrible grasp. It will possibly burn you and it will probably rescue you in equal measure.
However crucial factor about cash is the non-public philosophy and basis you develop for your self.
As males, usually we do not develop up or mature till we’re 40. That’s the reason individuals who get cash later in life are inclined to have it longer than those that get it when they’re younger with out understanding how life works.
Life is a marathon. Not a dash. Many a younger man who stumbled upon cash, assumes that life is a dash. There’s a rush to get extra, a splash to do extra, and a push to get extra out of life than we are able to take.
That’s the reason we should discuss foundations.
There are six pillars any man wants to reach life.
There are two households, the one we’re born into and the one we make ourselves. Regardless of, we should all aspire to be in the very best of phrases with the household we’re born into. Granted recently I discover millennials are turning away from their ‘poisonous’ mother and father or siblings, however the place potential attempt to get alongside and be there for one another. As mother and father foster a robust sense of kinship and cooperation amongst your kids. Rising in cities makes kids colder however in the event you can, domesticate that in your kids. As adults, if the connection along with your siblings just isn’t irreparably damaged, be intentional in making it work. Not only for the worst instances, however all season. Household is the primary pillar of energy.
I’m glad when the issues stopped working for the younger man, he went again house. Too unhealthy he died by suicide however there’s something the daddy stated in his eulogy value of notice:
“…in winter bushes retreat to their roots, it’s OK to stay nested till your spring time comes.”
The second household is the one we make. In case you marry proper, your loved ones too may be your spine. It’s unlucky that for many males, we regularly marry improper, or after we marry proper and hit the jackpot, we actually deal with our family members with loads contempt forgetting that life has cycles. In case you are younger, most significantly, marry proper. Cash attracts unhealthy women. When we have now cash, we wish the ladies we’d not contact after we are broke. Marriage is essentially the most consequential choice any younger man would make. Choose proper. Do proper. And if it would not work as you wished or hoped, make a stop-loss on the earliest time.
However when it really works, it’s the finest basis. Your spouse generally is a pillar of energy(good luck), and your kids generally is a supply of hope, when clouds get darker.
2. Significant Friendships
What’s your tribe?
Nairobi is the headquarters of pretend friendships. Who’re your folks? I lately had a drink with an elder and one of many conversations we had is how he honoured his good friend’s dying want by guaranteeing the good friend acquired buried the place he needed to be buried and he protected the good friend’s widow from being disinherited by grasping in-laws.
Are your folks the kind that can use funeral as a alcohol-fueled road-trip to gishagi, then hit your native city for debauchery with black T-shirts emblazoned along with your portrait and promptly overlook about you? I’m not saying these are unhealthy mates or faux mates. However as a person, you want mates who can elevate you when you find yourself down. Pals who can let you know you’re tripping and saving you from your self.
3. Be teachable
Essentially the most tough factor in Kenya presently aside from convincing an UDA voter that they’re tripping, is educating a younger man with cash. Most younger males with cash all the time assume they’re smarter than everybody else within the room. Few consider their luck, the convergence of circumstances to grant them their wealth, and windfall.
Most younger guys with cash develop a bossy perspective and can desire ‘yes-men’ round them than mates who can inform them uncomfortable truths.
The issue with Sure-men is that they’re with you till your ship begins to sink and they’ll desert you.
All the time have mates who can name your bullshit and do not buy your individual hype. As a result of quickly, you’re pressured to eat humble pie. And humble pie tastes worse than njahi.
4. Develop a private philosophy
It’s superb what number of grownup males glide via life with none governing precept or philosophy. That best of Irishmen, Oscar Wilde as soon as stated, “to reside is the rarest factor, most individuals exist exist, that’s all.”
Growing a philosophy is an easy factor. However wants loads of work. Have the best mentors. Learn the best books.
To start out you off, learn The Guide of Ecclesiastes as soon as each month. When you perceive that the whole lot we pursue is vainness, you can begin pursue stuff with higher intentions and meaningfulness.
And browse books. Watch nice films. Whilst you learn, domesticate a philosophy that aligns with life mission and imaginative and prescient. Not the whole lot you learn you must apply in your life. Study to separate the wheat from chaff.
5 Perceive why you pursue cash/wealth
Two Kenyan texts are instructive right here. One is Mwangi Gicheru’s The Double Cross. Within the opening paragraph, we be taught chasing cash is like attempting to the touch the horizon. No sooner you assume it’s inside the attain, than it shifts additional forward, to infinity. To most males we hardly ever know when to pause and mirror why we search for cash.
Sit and ask your self the “why?” of your materials pursuits.
The second textual content is Jacob Aliet seminal novel The Levant Church. There may be an especially introspective a part of the e-book the place the protagonist,Ochanda, thinks again to his impoverished background the place his household was badly shamed and this haunts our protagonist, a preacher for the remainder of his life. Poverty scars and scares us completely.
However it’s a dialog he has with an outdated man within the Mombasa the place we derive an necessary lesson for immediately.
The outdated man is attempting to take away a foul spell solid on the preacher by a haunting magnificence antagonist within the e-book.
Take a look at cash as a demon for a second.
“Demons feed off unmet wants and wishes, the outdated man explains to Ochanda, when he explains how the girl got here to him (“with a chest full of cash and gold”)
When Ochanda protests that cash opens doorways, would not everybody want cash, to which the person responds.
“The will for wealth is fueled by an unmet childhood want that leaves us feeling weak, helpless or insufficient, we attempt to compensate for that craving inside us by utilizing cash, however it’s a cowl. The true vacancy in us stay intact….
The connection between you and the demon is symbiotic and it’s a must to perceive this earlier than you may break away…
The demons distracts you out of your vacancy and offers a false success because it feeds off your power. With out attaching itself to you, it fizzles out. You might be it is power supply.”
Lastly the outdated man decides to assist our preacher as a result of he would not pursue wealth for functions of greed.
Get the e-book, and browse it with a philosophical thoughts to internalise how Aliet channels his interior Solomon to ship this half.
6. Discover God
Cash and slightly schooling all the time lulls us to assume we’re good and don’t want God. Don’t make that mistake.
Have an awesome week forward people.